Challenges to Problem-Solving in Groups & Families
Relevance
People tend to “piggy-back” unrelated issues on the problem at hand — and wind up with a pile of
mixed agendas, mixed messages and mixed results.
The task at hand often becomes tangled up with the overall relationship dynamics as well. Keeping it
"clean" is keeping it focused and more likely to succeed.
Assessment
Groups of strangers tackle a problem in three steps: (1) orientation, where they learn about each other
and explore the problem; (2) evaluation, during which they develop ideas and alternatives; and (3) a
phase in which they seek to influence each other.
Families and close groups tend to skip the first two steps — members think they know where the
others stand. (They usually don’t.) Jumping instead right to trying to sway others to their viewpoint.
People tend to “piggy-back” unrelated issues on the problem at hand — and wind up with a pile of
mixed agendas, mixed messages and mixed results.
The task at hand often becomes tangled up with the overall relationship dynamics as well. Keeping it
"clean" is keeping it focused and more likely to succeed.
Assessment
Groups of strangers tackle a problem in three steps: (1) orientation, where they learn about each other
and explore the problem; (2) evaluation, during which they develop ideas and alternatives; and (3) a
phase in which they seek to influence each other.
Families and close groups tend to skip the first two steps — members think they know where the
others stand. (They usually don’t.) Jumping instead right to trying to sway others to their viewpoint.
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Power Struggles & Personal Attacks
Decision-making tends to be strongly “power
oriented” instead of focused on the desired
outcome. So much energy is focused on the
power relationships little is left for the problem.
The worst trap in negotiations is the
degeneration of a discussion down to the level of
personal attacks or political posturing. The
issue is no longer solving the issue but
defenses for some old wound or past
resentment. The best response to personal
attacks is called “redirection.”
If you are the target, stay calm and just redirect
the discussion back to the issue.
Resist the natural inclination to argue back or
“straighten out” the other person.
Use positive comments like: “Let’s concentrate
on the facts,” instead of “Why won’t you stick to
the issues?”
Redirect personal attacks to the issue at hand.
Don’t let statements deflect the discussion from
the important topics to be decided.
Decision-making tends to be strongly “power
oriented” instead of focused on the desired
outcome. So much energy is focused on the
power relationships little is left for the problem.
The worst trap in negotiations is the
degeneration of a discussion down to the level of
personal attacks or political posturing. The
issue is no longer solving the issue but
defenses for some old wound or past
resentment. The best response to personal
attacks is called “redirection.”
If you are the target, stay calm and just redirect
the discussion back to the issue.
Resist the natural inclination to argue back or
“straighten out” the other person.
Use positive comments like: “Let’s concentrate
on the facts,” instead of “Why won’t you stick to
the issues?”
Redirect personal attacks to the issue at hand.
Don’t let statements deflect the discussion from
the important topics to be decided.
Awareness & Acceptance
Everyone must agree first that (1) something’s
wrong, and (2) a group effort can lead to a solution.
Time
When a problem is identified, there is a tendency to
rush to find a solution right away rather than to take
time to define clearly the problem and outline
possible solutions.
Everyone must agree first that (1) something’s
wrong, and (2) a group effort can lead to a solution.
Time
When a problem is identified, there is a tendency to
rush to find a solution right away rather than to take
time to define clearly the problem and outline
possible solutions.
Some common hazards that could swamp your attempts at group
problem-solving.
problem-solving.
Timing & Pressure to Solve
Families tend to tackle problems at the end of the day, when people are tired, hungry and irritable.
Organizations need to recognize that attention to problems, late in their development does not
encourage group problem solving. Mitigating decisions may have to be taken outside the group with a
goal towards developing long-term solutions with the help of the group.
Families tend to tackle problems at the end of the day, when people are tired, hungry and irritable.
Organizations need to recognize that attention to problems, late in their development does not
encourage group problem solving. Mitigating decisions may have to be taken outside the group with a
goal towards developing long-term solutions with the help of the group.
| Final Decision |
| Reaching a decision implies that the one making the final has the delegated authority to do so, and that the members of the group/family have some accountability for making the solution work. |
| Without acceptance, authority and accountability, problems just don't get solved. With each successive attempt following a failure, motivation, effort and commitment decreases. It pays to handle each problem well right from the start. Groups or families with a persistent inability to discuss issues calmly or who are stuck in some of the above traps could benefit from a family counsellor who could provide a neutral perspective and guidance, but ultimately it is the members of the family/group that makes any solution succeed or fail. |
| © Copyright All rights reserved M. R. Monteiro, Life Passages Counselling |
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